Sunday, July 8, 2007

Slow Start

Tessa was due three days before our 6th Anniversary.

We had a lot of time as just a couple, before she came. As in so many things, this was not according to our plan. We had been "trying" for just under three years when we finally got pregnant. In theory three years doesn't seem that long, but believe me, it was 35 months too long.

It was over 40 negative pregnancy tests too long. It was 134 self administered injections too long. It was many crying, praying, begging nights too long. It was dozens of friends happy announcements too long.

It was a long, long time.

In the same breath that I wish we wouldn't have had to wait so long I am also grateful for a few of the things that resulted. For one, I am grateful for my appreciation for my sweet daughter. I don't think it is fair or truthful to say that "infertiles" love their children anymore than "fertiles." That makes no sense. However, I think I may have the upper hand when it comes to understanding what a miracle the life of a child is. I know so much more about the reproductive cycle then I ever wanted to, and frankly, it is a miracle any of us are here! So many things need to be perfect for conception and gestation to occur. Babies really deserve to be awe-inspiring.