Thursday, October 22, 2009

October 9, 2008

Tonight I stumbled across something I wrote a year ago.

Here it is.*


October 9, 2008

This time I am crying more. And I think it is because I know what I’m getting into. Not that this is about the dreary life of a new mother with the late night feedings and the diaper changes, although I am less fanciful about what it will mean to have a baby than I was the first time.

But the first time, I didn’t cry.

I cry now because I know how much I can love. I cried when I got the call that said “it worked.” I cried when I saw the little flickering heartbeat for the first time, and again two weeks later when I saw my olive sized baby wiggly around. The first time, if I cried – it was as much from relief as joy. Relief that I wasn’t infertile anymore. This time, as I watched that little gummy bear kick and wave on the ultrasound screen, I already loved her. Because of the first time, I know what it feels like to love her.

The first time, I looked forward to loving my child;, but it took awhile to move from loving the idea of a child to loving that child. This time I instantly love this specific child. My baby. Our baby.



*I did some editing - I had to. I had written "him" in a lot of places. So much for mothers intuition. And of course, I added the last word.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Free Cookie

Tessa thanks the Elderly Lady at the Grocery Store as well.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Hey Mister

Hey Mr. Garbage Man:

I saw you take that "Boxtop for Education" off the cereal box in my recycling bin. And it made me decide to try and get my kids into the same school that the garbage man's kids go to.

Hey Mr. Foods Purchaser:

Am I the only one who sees the problem with these organic bananas?

Hey Elderly Lady at the Grocery Store:

Thank you for commenting on my daughters singing, and telling me about the free cookie that the bakery gives kids. Thank you for telling me that you are about to go crazy shopping with your husband - that he takes so long, that you would have been out of there 30 minutes ago. Thank you for telling me that even if you can't grocery shop with your sweetheart without an argument, that you can still be married for 62 years.