Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I need a special tunnel to safely cross the highway.

I feel so incredibly pregnant today. I am moving at the speed of cooling asphalt. If I were to be found in the desert of the southwest, crawling along, or gasp, flipped over on my back, unable to right myself, I could halt the construction of a major retail distribution center (yes, that is a random reference to the majestic desert tortoise). At times like this it is so convenient to have a toddler by the hand and let people then think I am being a patient mom, allowing my little one to set our leisurely pace. But now you know, I'm slowing her down.

I just ate crackers and cheese and feel like I've left an all you can eat Chinese buffet after four trips back to the won ton table.

But when I write that I still think "mmmmm, Won Tons!" I can assure you that I am not one of those women who claim "When I was pregnant with little Shalaydon I only wanted fresh fruits and vegetables." Rather, when I am pregnant I want: fried food, creamy cheesy food, and/or fried cheese. And dairy. And chocolate. The only difference between this and not being pregnant is the increased urgency and the lack of (okay, the diminishment of) guilt. Thank you "What to Expect..." for the little blurb telling me I need cholestrol to build this little body.

Speaking of food, when is dinner? I better get moving now if I want to make it to the table in time...

6 comments:

Crystal said...

you crack me up :)

Brent and Tracie said...

Hilarious. PS it only gets worse:)

Tanya said...

You are so funny! I hate when it gets to that point. I'm glad to see that you are still pregnant though!!

MindySue said...

cute post...i especially like the reference to the "majestic desert tortoise"

Laura said...

So...are you naming your baby Shalaydon?

Maria said...

I can't help but think you were channeling me and my running skills when you mentioned the "majestic desert tortoise". However, it might have been more fun to say "Dessert turtle" since chocolate and caramel would have been involved!!!