I need a special tunnel to safely cross the highway.

I feel so incredibly pregnant today. I am moving at the speed of cooling asphalt. If I were to be found in the desert of the southwest, crawling along, or gasp, flipped over on my back, unable to right myself, I could halt the construction of a major retail distribution center (yes, that is a random reference to the majestic desert tortoise). At times like this it is so convenient to have a toddler by the hand and let people then think I am being a patient mom, allowing my little one to set our leisurely pace. But now you know, I'm slowing her down.

I just ate crackers and cheese and feel like I've left an all you can eat Chinese buffet after four trips back to the won ton table.

But when I write that I still think "mmmmm, Won Tons!" I can assure you that I am not one of those women who claim "When I was pregnant with little Shalaydon I only wanted fresh fruits and vegetables." Rather, when I am pregnant I want: fried food, creamy cheesy food, and/or fried cheese. And dairy. And chocolate. The only difference between this and not being pregnant is the increased urgency and the lack of (okay, the diminishment of) guilt. Thank you "What to Expect..." for the little blurb telling me I need cholestrol to build this little body.

Speaking of food, when is dinner? I better get moving now if I want to make it to the table in time...